When we think about autism, we may think about the more recognisable or stereotyped characteristics such as differences in social communication, repetitive behaviours, sensory sensitivities, or a strong preference for routine.
However, autism can present in much less obvious ways, particularly in people who have learned to adapt, mask, or compensate for areas that they find difficult.
Some less obvious signs that individuals, families or carers might notice include:
They seem socially confident, but relationships are difficult.
A person may be talkative, friendly and able to have conversations, but still find the unspoken aspects of friendship challenging. They may struggle to know when to join a conversation, how to maintain friendships, recognise subtle changes in another person’s mood, or understand the unwritten rules of social situations.
They appear to cope well in public (school/work) but fall apart at home.
Some people use significant energy throughout the day to manage expectations, social interactions, sensory demands and routines. They may appear calm and capable at school, university or work, only to experience intense emotional reactions, exhaustion or withdrawal once they are somewhere they feel safe. For children and adolescents, this can sometimes be described as a “post-school crash.”
They have good language, but communication can still be different.
Autism isn’t necessarily associated with delayed speech or limited vocabulary. Some people have an extensive vocabulary and speak fluently, but may communicate in a very literal way, provide a lot of detail about preferred topics, find back-and-forth conversation difficult, or struggle to interpret sarcasm, implied meaning or indirect requests.
They can become intensely focused on particular interests.
A special interest doesn’t necessarily look like the stereotypical fascination with trains, dinosaurs or numbers. It might be animals, a particular TV show, sport, celebrities, books, makeup, psychology, a specific online community or another topic. The important consideration is often the intensity and function of the interest, rather than the topic itself.
Changes can be much harder than they appear.
A person may technically cope with changes to plans but experience significant internal distress. They might repeatedly ask about what is happening next, need to know plans in advance, become upset when expectations change, or find transitions between activities particularly difficult or distressing.
Sensory differences may be subtle.
Sensory differences aren’t always obvious. A person might not tolerate certain clothing textures, be very particular about food, dislike particular sounds, become overwhelmed in busy environments, seek movement, or become exhausted after being somewhere noisy or crowded. Sometimes they may simply say that certain environments are “too much” without being able to explain why.
They may copy other people socially.
Some people consciously observe peers and imitate how they talk, dress, joke or interact because they are unsure what is expected of them. They may appear socially skilled but describe social situations as exhausting or feel like they are “performing” around others.
They may have a strong need for predictability or control.
This isn’t necessarily about being “bossy” or difficult. Knowing what will happen, how it will happen and what is expected can provide a sense of safety. Unexpected changes or situations where they don’t know what is coming next can be particularly challenging.
They may experience significant fatigue.
A person who is constantly monitoring their environment, managing sensory input, navigating social interactions and trying to meet expectations may have very little energy left by the end of the day.
Their emotional responses may seem bigger than expected.
Meltdowns, shutdowns or periods of withdrawal can sometimes occur when someone has reached their capacity. What looks like an overreaction to a small event may actually be the final trigger after a day of accumulating sensory, social or emotional demands.
Importantly, none of these signs on their own mean that someone is autistic.
When considering autism, clinicians look at the overall pattern, including social communication, restricted or repetitive patterns of behaviour and interests, sensory differences, developmental history, and the impact these differences have across settings.
If you find yourself thinking, “I seem to cope, but something still doesn’t quite fit,” or you are wondering this about your child or someone you support, that observation is worth exploring. You don’t need to wait until difficulties become severe before seeking professional guidance.
It is important to remember that all brains are different, and no two autistic people are the same. Autism can look very different from person to person, and an individual may experience some of these characteristics while not experiencing others at all.
